Update

This will be a quick post just to give an update. I have been away for a while due to my computer crashing but now have gotten a new one.

Well, it is a much smaller one called a netbook as opposed to a notebook. Anyway, it scrunches everything up quite a bit but it serves its purpose. So, in advance I would like to apologize for any misalignment of photos etc. that may occur. My view of the site may not line up with yours.

Due to an overwhelming amount of comments and questions that have come through while I was away on some of my other sites… it may cause me to be a little backlogged in updating for a short time. I will do my best to respond to everyone as fast as I can and get back on track with my updates.

I really appreciate your patience and I hope that you all had a very blessed Thanksgiving!

~Alison

A Broken Toe

Yesterday, while I was cleaning our formal dinning table… I had to walk between the table and our china hutch. Well, the space between the two is a little tight and I ended up ramming my right pinky toe into the corner of the china hutch.

This then caused my toe to move outward and began to hurt quite badly. As it swelled, I felt the side of it and realized that it was broken.

Immediately, Bradley helped me to secure an ice pack to my toe with an ace bandage. As you can see, it was quite the site.

We tried to search online for what I could take that night to reduce the swelling and help me to sleep. We ended up calling a Pharmacist to ask them if it would be ok for me to take Ibuprofen for the swelling and Unisom to help me sleep. The Pharmacist said that it would be alright… so I did.

Well, the Ibuprofen did help with the swelling of my toe and the Unisom helped with my sleep, however… the Unisom made my face puffy the next day. So, I had an unswollen foot with a swollen face, lol… go figure!

This evening, one of our good friends (Billy) is coming over and I am a bit bummed because I won’t even be able to get up to greet him. Bradley has created a set up for me on the couch. I have access to the internet and the television. Right about now, I am grateful for our couch because the seats all recline. What a blessing!

Today, the part of my foot that hurts the most is the ball area where the pinky toe is. If I put any pressure on that part, I get a sharp pain. Of course, this only really happens when I am coming down stairs and luckily that is not often.

I am trying to stay off of it as much as possible and keep it elevated on a pillow. The lack of circulation, however, has made my foot go cold. I have heard from some friends elsewhere that when they broke one of their toes, it took about a year to completely heal… YIKES! I am praying for a QUICK recovery!

The ironic thing is that the night before this happened… I was talking to Bradley and saying how I needed to rest for a day or so because we have been going, going, going. Well, I suppose I got my wish, urgh!

Anyway, I am going to try and enjoy the rest, the best possible. I am receiving a lot of prayers and I am so grateful for that. I appreciate you checking in on my posts and sharing your thoughts. I hope that your days are blessed and your nights are restful.

Conviction

During the last week or so, I have been struggling a bit regarding my time here… not here on this site, I mean here on this planet. See, recently my husband and I have been given an opportunity to work together in a new business. This couldn’t come at a better time, however, it has taken up much of our time.

I have been struggling over this because I see how our time here is so short. So many things are happening around the world that have been prophesied about throughout the Bible. Well, the other day I was searching through Youtube and as many of you know… you may begin searching for one thing and end up watching all sorts of videos that do not even have anything to do with what you originally searched for. Its like a brain that goes off on a tangent. LOL!

So, anyway… back to my point 😉

Somehow I ended up on videos that were about people who have died and came back. These individuals were converted to Christianity because of this. These videos drew me in and intrigued me greatly because they described heaven and hell. Well, I found it interesting in some due to their descriptions. Now, I do not know for sure if all of their stories are accurate… but I listened.

I began to notice how many of them were talking about seeing “Christians” in hell due to unforgiveness and falling back to the world’s activities, etc. To give you a little history, I had recently written a post on my site regarding whether or not those who practice homosexuality will go in the rapture of the church. This post was brought on by a study that Jack Kelley wrote.

After I wrote my article, I received a comment that brought up the question of “Once Saved, Always Saved”. Well, I responded that this was a topic that has been debated throughout the church for a long time and there are many reasons why both sides take up their case for or against this idea. I shared that I would try and write an article covering why some believe this to be in error.

I had a few epiphanies during this study and then I came across the video I have included on this page (site). The video is a 58 minute sermon that is completely accurate and extremely convicting. After watching this video, it just made me want to sit in silence and contemplate… then pray.

See, I remember a time when I had that much conviction and zeal. Over the years I have been worn down by life and my faith has been tested to the max… and I am sure it will continue to be. I have been missing who I once was in Christ and I am sure that He has been missing me. Sure, I wrote articles to share the truth with any who will listen and I always stand my ground when put in a situation to defend my faith… but true conviction and zeal… its been awhile.

This video has cut through all of the glory gumption and gotten right to the heart of the matter, which is exactly where we all need to be in these last days. I am not willing to take the chance that the comfortable laziness I have partaken of in my relationship with Christ might cause me to miss Him all together. So, I challenge you, as I will endeavor to do myself, to reawaken the strongest desires you have had for the Lord and gain the boldness of the warriors we were called to be in the house of the Lord. Time is so short and we may never get a second chance!

If you do not know where to look for the video, I am including it here. I highly encourage you to watch it without distraction… be convicted whole heatedly and make a life altering change for Christ. Please share this video with any you may feel should see it… I am sure there are more who need to see this than you may realize.

Infant Blues

I have had a hard time today and lately at different times. As many of you know from reading my “About Me” page, I have lost 5 babies. Well, it is difficult during the holidays. Also, I watched a movie tonight that had a young couple loose their baby right after it was born. It was heart wrenching.

When I go to Walmart or a department store at the mall, etc. and pass by the baby sections… I have to just look away. Seeing the baby clothes just tears me up inside. We had decorated a nursery in classic pooh, so whenever I see that, I feel like running to the nearest exit.

Sometimes – most times, I just feel numb to it all. I suppose that is necessary to continue with life, but other times it just hits me. It normally hits at very inopportune times. Sometimes I am afraid to really let it all out because I feel like I just won’t stop crying. I have had those moments over the years. In the still dark corners of the house, when no one is around… I will weep quietly and pray that the Lord will just wrap His arms around me and comfort me to the very depths of my soul. At times, I feel as though I am shaking from those same depths and all I can do is rock myself like a child.

I am plagued with memories of hope immediately thrashed to pieces like slivered glass from a mirror image… shattered.

I wonder how it will all end up in the end, in eternity. I know that things don’t work out quite the same as far as being married, having children, etc. but I wonder if there is something for those who couldn’t have children in this life… special. It may not matter once we are there, I’m sure… but it would be nice. It gives something to look forward to now I suppose.

Not having children, leaves you in a separate category in life relationships. There is no relation between you and others who have children. Life changes us one way or another and because of that we draw closer to some and farther away from others because of similarity and such.

Bradley and I were talking the other day how ironic it is when you make the transition between being single to being a couple. They have “singles” groups at churches and social groups, but as soon as some two people become a couple, their relationship with their “single” friends changes inevitably.

Then, for a while perhaps, they are a couple without children. This is its own group that is occupied mostly by younger couples in their twenties. Then once they begin having children, it changes their relationship with those who have not had them yet, just as it did with their single friends. However, what happens if you never graduate to that “parent” category? Your just stuck in limbo with the twenty somethings until they move on. Age and maturity change us as well, so the relative association of the “category” we are in becomes very unique and it is hard to find others to relate to.

Bradley and I will never have any children. This is a fact. There are extenuating circumstances that I do not always go into publically, so it is difficult when we receive responses like, “Just give it time”. I know that is a typically generated response because it is an uncomfortable topic and people do not know how else to respond. Sometimes it is just better to say, “I am so sorry to hear that”.

I would like to include this video that captures a small portion of what it feels like after you loose a baby.

Working On… Working Out

I have been feeling a bit strange lately. I haven’t been sure if it was me having panic attacks or something else. It would make sense if it were, however, when it comes upon me… I am not particularly feeling “panic” like. Could it be a subconscious panic attack? Is that something that is possible?

See, lately… every once in a while, I get all of a sudden, this extremely heavy heart pounding in my chest that I can feel throughout my body. It makes it difficult to breath as normal and at times makes me feel a bit nauseas and a little jittery every once in a while. I know that the first thought would be that it was the start of a heart attack or something.

I have been under a lot of stress lately, but then again… I can’t remember the last time that I wasn’t, LOL.

We have this juice called VIBE and it includes all of the needed vitamins and minerals. We gave this to our kitty who was on the feeding tube and she was on her death bed… well, she made a full recovery! Anyway, I haven’t been able to take it regularly because of money and wanting her to have plenty. I was going to start taking it again but we ran out of orange juice and that is what I drink it with… it is very potent because it is concentrated. So, I am waiting for my sweet hubby to go to the store and get some more so I can have some juice. Hopefully this will help take care of the situation.

I have also been watching what I am eating, how much I am eating and how often. I started eating more after the loss of our babies, as a way of comforting myself I suppose. Sometimes out of boredom. Anyway, I gained a little weight from it… not a lot, but on my size frame (5’2) it seems like more. Some of my pictures you can see on my Flicker, you can tell that I was not really fit as I use to be. Well, I have lost a lot of weight from last year, but I still have some to go for me to be where I would like to be.

So, for the past two weeks, I have been trying not to eat so much. I don’t want to be able to eat an entire box of mac-n-cheese by myself. Plus, I don’t want to be hungry 30 minutes after I have eaten. Anyway, I have gotten some soups by Campbell’s that are in microwavable cups and they don’t have as much salt. I figured that I would have cereal for breakfast in a small bowl, then soup or salad for lunch and then a little larger meal for dinner. My plan was to eat dinner sometime between 5pm-7pm and that could carry me through the night.

Well, sometimes I can do this without hesitation and others… especially if I stay up really late and start to get hungry again… it becomes more of a challenge. I am beginning to “control” my stomach, how it feels hungry or not. When I think that I am beginning to feel hungry, first I evaluate the situation. I think to myself… when did I last eat? I think about the effort to prepare the food and is it worth it, time wise? Also, sometimes I try drinking water to see if maybe I was just thirsty (this works sometimes). Finally, I think about my worst picture when I was at my heaviest… if I still think that I am hungry, then I try to relax my body… mostly the stomach area, and eat slowly. This allows me not to eat so much and sometimes, relaxing my tummy takes away the hunger.

When I think that it is out of stress or boredom that I feel like I want to eat, then I either try to find something more active to do with my mind or I try to think through the situation that is stressing me… in any case, I pray about it.

Another thing that I was trying to do, was to exercise. This is my down fall. See, I use to be extremely active growing up. I was in soccer, cheerleading, dance and beyond all of that, I still had more energy than I knew what to do with. I would run, do aerobics, etc. When my mom would say to me, “you should run around the house” because I had too much energy for her… I would!

I remember times when I would lay on my side on the floor and just run, which would make me go around in a circle on the carpet. Funny image, but true! LOL

WHERE IS THAT ENERGY NOW!!!???

I can’t seem to be consistent with exercising. I am an over achiever, so I tend to out do myself and then regret it the next day. I get excited to do it, when I watch shows like the Biggest Looser. The dedication amazes me to no end! Well… that is my weakness.

So, I have focused on cleaning our home. Trust me, that in itself is a workout! This gives me an immediate result that I can enjoy; plus, it gets me moving. I figure, its a beginning. Once I get it all down, then maybe I won’t dread working out on a regular basis and I won’t regret it later, when I do it.

There was this girl at my school. Her and I were pretty good friends… well, in gym class, they would have us run/walk around the gym for 20 minutes every day. Well, I would keep pace with her because she really pushed herself. I was able to do it because I would just focus on her and I wouldn’t think about the fact that I “had” to do it myself… I was just following the leader and pushing myself because I could. There was some sort of competition stance in me with that, but it was a good competition. She taught me how to pace myself with running in that gym. I guess that means that I should do well with exercise tapes or a trainer, LOL.

I think that exercise tapes are boring and trainers are too expensive, so what then? We have a gym in our subdivision but again… I push myself too hard or not hard enough and it seems to become a waste. Hopefully I will figure that part out, but for now… I will continue doing what I am and build up to the other.

If any of you have any suggestions, I am open to hearing about them. What has worked for you? What are your weaknesses that you struggle with? Have you overcome them?

I am looking forward to reading all that you have to say.

Truthoughts Updates

Well, long time no type! LOL… I have been very busy lately and haven’t had much time to type out a blog post. I always feel like it has to be “just so long” to make it a post, so I guess that has discouraged me a bit from taking the time to post. Anyway, I have been working on some other things online that I would like to share with you here.

Twitter

One of the things I have been setting up is my Twitter account as you can see the bird picture on the right side of this site. You can check out my Truthoughts Twitter if you are interested in my quick updates. There is a video out there about what people have thought about Twitter… its funny, but it truely is what people think. Don’t get me wrong, there are those out there but it doen’t apply to everyone. Just like everywhere else, you try to pick your “friends” well.

StumbleUpon

Another area that I have been focusing on is my StumbleUpon (SU) account. My Truthoughts SU has been focusing on posting photo’s, etc. that have inspired me in some way or another. So, if you would like to see some unique, peaceful or inspiring images… come visit my page.

Business

Other than that, I have been working with my husband on our start-up company whose goal is to create the world’s largest “Green” network. Now, just so I am clearly understood… I believe that we, as Christians, are responsible for being good stewards of what God has entrusted us with but I do NOT believe that our resources will run out based on our own efforts or lack thereof. I believe that during the Great Tribulation there will be massive situations that the world will have to face regarding famines, water turning to blood, oceans being poisoned by wormwood, etc. but that has nothing to do with “our efforts” other than prevalent sin that has grown throughout the world population. One way or another it all runs its course based on God’s will and His timing, not within our control.

That being said, again I wish to redirect focus on being a good steward of what God has entrusted to us, which includes using wisdom with our finances and providing for our families, etc. with areas such as solar power, proper insulation, etc. Basically, why rely on man made resources when we can rely on God’s resources in the most efficient way of utilizing as possible?

In Closing

Well, that is all I have been up to lately. At times it feels as though there are not enough hours in the day and others seem to drag on with no end, LOL. I hope to update my blogs more often in the near future… I just have to work out a balanced schedule.

A Must See Tribute…

This is a must see video which was created by my husband. I hope that this video brings you much enjoyment and brightens your day. It is amazing how images so preacious can melt your heart and bring a smile to your face.

Well, as many of you may have read in my previous posts… we have some wonderful new kittens. Well, is a tribute video with some of their pictures to share with you here. The song that is on the video is “My Funny Valentine” performed by Matt Damon from the movie the Talented Mr. Ripley. I hope that you enjoy the video and let me know what you think.

They Have Arrived ~ 5 New Kittens!

Click here for Part I.  Part I tells the prestory of Mieshka coming to our home and her pregnancy. It took me a while to be able to post that story because I was having numerous problems with uploading pictures. So, to update you, she has had her babies! Mieshka had her babies on July 13, 2008 beginning around 7:00 pm. Her babies are at this point, 6 days old and very cute. (sorry the first pic is sideways)

We had a few problems with the orange tabby when he was born… he wasn’t breathing. Mieshka wouldn’t begin cleaning him to clear the gel from his face, so I had to get a wet cloth and clear his nose and mouth area. He began to joke on the gel as he breathed it in deeply. I was so worried and began praying while I lightly rubbed his back with the cloth to try and clear his lungs. As I would do this, he would begin breathing, but as soon as I would stop, so would he.

At one point, Mieshka, while he was still attached through the umbilical chord, stood up and turned around. This caused him to dangle in the air and slammed him onto the flooring as she sat back down. Well, when this happened, his neck twisted and I thought he may have just broken his neck – while he was still not breathing. Oh my gosh!!! My heart was racing and I began praying even harder and more panic like.

Well, I kept working on him and eventually, she got around to cleaning him and he ended up being fine. What a relief! I just couldn’t imagine the devistation of him not making it. Soon after the scary ordeal, he began to behave as though he was invincible. I told Bradley that becaus he cheated death at birth, he thought he was superman! We have named him Tigger.

We are still pondering the names of the others. Mieshka had 3 boys and 2 girls. The boys are the Black one, Orange one and White one. The girls are the Calico one and the Off White one. It is hard to tell the difference on the pictures which one is the white one and which is the off white one, but the off white one is beginning to darken her features like her ears, paw pads and nose.

The day after they were born, we took them to the vet because Mieshka hadn’t passed any after birth (our previous cat did after having kittens). Well, he took an exray and said she was fine and that there didn’t seem to be anything more to pass. They also gave her a pill to get rid of the flea-tape worms. We had gotten rid of the fleas just in time for her to have her babies, thank the Lord! Now, she doesn’t have the tape worms either!

At present, we have them in a plastic tub in our bathroom. Mieshka likes it there because no one bothers her. Bradley has been picking up the babies a lot and she is not too fond of that, but they are getting better about crying now. The vet said that she had a full bladder and she really needed to pee, so as soon as we brought her back home, I put her in the litter box and made her pee. Ah, she was so relieved – I could see it in her face.

Now she knows that she can leave her babies for moments to eat, drink and go to the bathroom without worrying. She seems to prefer to do those things when I am in there because if her babies stir, I put my hand over them to give them warmth and they calm down. We still have a baby monitor in there so that I can hear them. A couple of times, Mieshka has laid on one of them and they scream.

When they get a bit bigger and can see, we will let them into our bedroom. Then after a little while, when they are ready, we will introduce them to our other kitties. I am so happy to have them. They are such little blessings. I will try to take more pictures and share them with you here as the get bigger. I may check with Bradley on how to set up a webcam and upload some video of them on Youtube. If I do, I will post that here too.

The order that they were born is:

1. Black (boy)
2. White (boy)
3. Calico (girl)
4. Orange Tabby (boy)
5. Off White (girl)

So, I hope that you enjoy the pictures. If you have any name ideas, please feel free to share them. I was thinking of maybe naming the off white girl “Winnie” because I like Winnie the Pooh and Bradley named the orange tabby “Tigger”. What do you think??? The calico girl is very docile and gentle, she is very quiet too. The black one is the biggest in the bunch. Also, if you have any fun kitten stories, I would love to hear them! I hope that I will have many to share here as they get older.

In this last picture, I am showing all of them together. The previous pictures are of right after they were born. I will write more because I have so many more pictures to share. Please check back for updates or subscribe to be alerted as soon as I update my posts. I hope you have enjoyed seeing our new additions and I look forward to your comments. Have a wonderful day!

Our new addition ~ Kitty plus… HOW MANY BABIES???

Mieshka Pregnant

It has been awhile since my last post, so today I thought that I would write about our new kitty. B and I were out one day and when we came home, there was a young kitty in our bushes. This little kitty was a girl and she was so sweet. She looked like she was starving. It was so hot and humid outside that we felt very bad for her, so I got her some food and water. I left the food and water outside our door on our porch. She ate so fast that you could hear her moaning as she ate.

We had decided that we would not let her in unless she was still there hours later. Normally, if a cat has a home and they are just outside… well, for one, they are not starving like this little one was… and secondly, they will leave soon after.

We had never seen this kitty around before and she was still on our doorstep over 4 hours later… So, we took her in. Now, there was a small problem. This sweet little girl had fleas. Luckily, the fleas weren’t that bad, meaning that she wasn’t infested with them or anything. We gave her a bath and powdered her down with some flea powder and we powdered our carpet around the bathroom (where we kept her) door with Borax, which is a great way to kill fleas that get into your carpet.

So, we kept her in the guest bathroom for about a week. Every couple of days we would give her a bath, powder her down and clean the bathroom… as well as the towel we had down for her to lay on.

Well, after a few days, I began noticing that she was getting a little larger in the belly area. I thought, “Oh my, is she pregnant?!!!” I told B what I thought and his eyes widened and glazed over. He said that he hoped not.

A few days more and I thought that I felt movement in her belly, so I said that we should take her to the vet. Now, by the time we got an appointment and took her in, they almost laughed when they said that Yes, she is pregnant.  By this time, she was quite large and her boobies where in full form. She was so big that the vet said he thought she would have them that week. Well, on Monday, it will have been 2 weeks since he said that and she hasn’t had them yet.

I really didn’t think that she could get any bigger, yet she has… quite a bit bigger. I am beginning to worry about how many babies she may have. It is so fun to watch and feel them moving inside her belly. Well, the fleas are taken care of and we have moved her into our Master Bathroom because it is bigger.

I have created a bedding area for her in one of our pet taxis, which she lays in from time to time. I think she prefers the sink. Now, she has tape worms which was caused by the fleas. The vet said that it was nothing to worry about and that they would take care of them once she had the babies. So, for now, we have to deal with the rice like droppings until she has her babies. It kind of grosses me out, but at least they aren’t fleas!

At present, we have borrowed a baby monitor from one of our neighbors so that I can hear if she goes into labor when I am downstairs. She has learned where the speaker part is and when she feels lonely, she will talk into that part and I come up to her. She has quiet the set up in there I tell ya.

One freaky thing though was the other night… B had to work late and a freak thunderstorm came around which cut off the electricity. Well, the bathroom became completely dark. I had been sitting with her for about 3 hours already because she was acting as though she was going to have her babies that day. Well, this little girl does not like it when it is completely dark… yes I know that cats can see in the dark, but for some reason, when it is dark… she cries. Therefore, we have a nightlight set up for her and she is fine… however, when the electricity went out, she became uncomfortable, so I lit some candles and put them into the glass shower (so she couldn’t get to them). They provided tolerable light but created a lot of heat… no air during this time and the window in the bathroom doesn’t open.

Well, needless to say, she did NOT have her babies that night and we are still waiting… (To Be Continued in Part II)

PS*** she toots! Audibly and Smelly! I just heard her toot on the monitor – LOL!!!!!

An Inspiring Video – Must See!!!

Click Here for the Video

I just wanted to share this video that I found through Stumbleupon that is really great and inspiring. The dept of love this man has for his son is beyond words. The caption for the video on the site is, “Incredible video about the relationship between a father and son…. and God’s relationship with us.” Keeping this in mind while watching this video, a person would have to be completely dead inside to not be moved to the innermost parts. After watching this, I couldn’t speak for a few minutes because of the emotions it stirred. Please let me know how this video makes you feel. I look forward to your comments. Have a blessed day!