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    • I Will Rest In You
      It has been a long time since I was able to post here and recently was encouraged to start posting again.  I will start by posting a video for those who are battle weary from the spiritual onslaught going on during these last days.  Be encouraged, replenished, and comforted… you are not alone.
    • The Word as an Onion
        Too many merely accept the Word on the surface.  They pick and choose this verse or that and build their doctrine out of it.  One instance for example is that in regard to adultery.  God’s Word says that you should not commit adultery; wherefore, those who have not slept with someone outside of their […]
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      40 Days of Challenge Day 6 Positive Practices and the Danger Zone           Positive Practices   Philippians 2:14 (KJV) “Do all things without murmurings (grumbling) and disputings”   Have you ever found yourself making an effort to go out of your way for someone only to find that they respond without […]
    • 40 Days of Challenge – Day 5 Dare to be Different
      40 Days of Challenge Day 5 Dare to be Different   The Post-It Challenge Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil (calamity), to give you an expected end (a future and a hope).” Isaiah 55:11-12 (KJV) “So shall My […]
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      40 Days of Challenge Day 4 Self Control and Thoughtfulness   Self Control James 1:19-20 (KJV)  “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not (does not produce) the righteousness of God.” Many times in our human relationships, we find […]
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Posts Tagged ‘Musings’

Saying Good-bye is never easy

Posted by truthoughts on July 20, 2009

As I write this, my thoughts wonder to our beloved friend who we will greatly miss named Keani. Keani was our family kitty whom I have had for over 9 years. She passed away early on Sunday, July 5, 2009. She was gone before we woke. It has taken all this time for me to be in a place of peace to be able to write this.

Keani – Binky was born on March 21, 2000 to a kitty who couldn’t take care of her. She was taken in by Operation Kindness and cared for by a wonderful lady named Kit. Keani came into my life one day in October 2000 at the Petsmart store when she was just 7 months old. You see, I had another kitty friend named Cuddles who had passed away earlier that year on July 12th that looked just like her. They were both tortoise shell mainecoons. I had Cuddles for 18.5 years and life was not the same without a kitty.

As soon as I saw Keani, I was drawn to her instantly. I rushed right to her as she huddled into the corner of her cage from the nervousness of the public. You see, she has always been a bit shy. I spoke to Kit about her and Kit handed her to me. As soon as I wrapped her in my arms, she tucked her little kitten face into the crevasse of my arm to hid from those around. I could feel her body tremble and then turn to a purr when I pet her.

I knew I just had to have her in my life. So, I filled out all of the paperwork and went through the interview process… then home with me she came.

I remember it took about 2 weeks to get her to come out from under my bed. I would sit on top and wait. She would gradually peer out but if she saw anyone else, back under she would go. Eventually, I would find that she was a tagger. I would have to run and jump into bed so that she wouldn’t tag my ankle as I lifted my foot. She was a quick one!

Her favorite toys were straws and paper balls. She could have so much fun with those two things for hours. She also loved to hide my socks, lol. Eventually, I gave her some quilted type slippers that she loved to take around with her. She would carry them in her mouth as she walked through the house, crying as though the slipper was her baby. It was so sweet.

She just loved to nestle in the lining of the box springs under the bed. She would tear a small whole into it and climb up and sleep there for hours. She liked that it was like a hammock.

Keani also was like a momma kitty to our other kitties. She always watched at a distance when two kitties would be arguing. She would make sure that she knew who was at fault and then go give that one a piece of her mind which normally included a quick whipping to the forehead (but without her claws). It always happened so fast that the other one wouldn’t know what hit them until she was across the room. She kept the peace.

I always loved how when a storm was coming, her fur would get all frizzed up. She became a huge fluff-ball. It was adorable. Also, with her around… no insect, bird, etc. could make it past the entryway it came in from. She was quick!

I remember her blowing kisses from across the room and winking at me and Bradley when we would talk to her. When she was small, I use to tell her what a pretty girl she was and she would try to hide her face with her arm as though she got embarrassed.

Keani got very sick last September/October and we had to put her on a feeding tube. The doctors never did find out what was wrong with her. We fed her food, water, vitamins and minerals through her tube 2-3 times a day. While she was very weak, we would keep her in an enclosed playpen. Then she became strong enough to jump out. Eventually, thanks to God and Science Diet, she began to eat on her own. We were able to take her off the feeding tube and she gained most of her weight back. She was very active and social for months afterward.

The night before she passed, on the 4th of July, when we came home… there she was to greet us excitedly. She jumped up on the table and gave kisses. She seemed happy and healthy, so the next day when Bradley found her laying on the tile… he thought nothing of it. A couple hours later when he came downstairs again and she hadn’t moved… he went to check on her but she had already passed. She was laying in front of our fan, which was her favorite thing to do. She loved the fan.

We brushed her, took some last photos and wrapped her in a blanket inside a tub. I placed a teddy bear next to her and we sealed her up to be buried.

This all hit me very hard and I cried so much the first week that it made me sick. I have a good friend who lost her doggie not long ago and I sent her a poem I found online. Well, she sent it to me after loosing Keani and I would like to share it here.

I stood by your bed last night… I came to have a peep. I could see that
you’d been crying, And you found it hard to sleep

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, “It’s me. I haven’t
left you. I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”

I was close to you at breakfast… I watched you pour your tea. You were
thinking of the many times Your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at my grave today… You tend to it with such care. I want
to reassure you That I’m not lying there.

I walked you towards the house As you fumbled for the key. I gently put my
paw on you… I smiled and said, “its me.”

You looked so very tired As you sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let
you know That I was sitting there.

It’s wonderful for me to be So near you everyday, To say to you with
certainty, “I never went away.”

You sat there very quietly, Then smiled… I think you knew That in the
stillness of the evening I was very close to you.

And when the time is right for you To cross the brief divide, I’ll rush
across to meet you And we’ll stand there side by side.

I have so many things to show you! There’s so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out, Then come home to be with me.

Author Unknown

It is hard to read this without crying. Anyway… I know in my heart that she is with Jesus and I will see her again someday. She knows that she was dearly loved.

Thank you for sharing in a small portion (9 yrs) of my life Keani. I miss you.

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Working On… Working Out

Posted by truthoughts on December 20, 2008

I have been feeling a bit strange lately. I haven’t been sure if it was me having panic attacks or something else. It would make sense if it were, however, when it comes upon me… I am not particularly feeling “panic” like. Could it be a subconscious panic attack? Is that something that is possible?

See, lately… every once in a while, I get all of a sudden, this extremely heavy heart pounding in my chest that I can feel throughout my body. It makes it difficult to breath as normal and at times makes me feel a bit nauseas and a little jittery every once in a while. I know that the first thought would be that it was the start of a heart attack or something.

I have been under a lot of stress lately, but then again… I can’t remember the last time that I wasn’t, LOL.

We have this juice called VIBE and it includes all of the needed vitamins and minerals. We gave this to our kitty who was on the feeding tube and she was on her death bed… well, she made a full recovery! Anyway, I haven’t been able to take it regularly because of money and wanting her to have plenty. I was going to start taking it again but we ran out of orange juice and that is what I drink it with… it is very potent because it is concentrated. So, I am waiting for my sweet hubby to go to the store and get some more so I can have some juice. Hopefully this will help take care of the situation.

I have also been watching what I am eating, how much I am eating and how often. I started eating more after the loss of our babies, as a way of comforting myself I suppose. Sometimes out of boredom. Anyway, I gained a little weight from it… not a lot, but on my size frame (5’2) it seems like more. Some of my pictures you can see on my Flicker, you can tell that I was not really fit as I use to be. Well, I have lost a lot of weight from last year, but I still have some to go for me to be where I would like to be.

So, for the past two weeks, I have been trying not to eat so much. I don’t want to be able to eat an entire box of mac-n-cheese by myself. Plus, I don’t want to be hungry 30 minutes after I have eaten. Anyway, I have gotten some soups by Campbell’s that are in microwavable cups and they don’t have as much salt. I figured that I would have cereal for breakfast in a small bowl, then soup or salad for lunch and then a little larger meal for dinner. My plan was to eat dinner sometime between 5pm-7pm and that could carry me through the night.

Well, sometimes I can do this without hesitation and others… especially if I stay up really late and start to get hungry again… it becomes more of a challenge. I am beginning to “control” my stomach, how it feels hungry or not. When I think that I am beginning to feel hungry, first I evaluate the situation. I think to myself… when did I last eat? I think about the effort to prepare the food and is it worth it, time wise? Also, sometimes I try drinking water to see if maybe I was just thirsty (this works sometimes). Finally, I think about my worst picture when I was at my heaviest… if I still think that I am hungry, then I try to relax my body… mostly the stomach area, and eat slowly. This allows me not to eat so much and sometimes, relaxing my tummy takes away the hunger.

When I think that it is out of stress or boredom that I feel like I want to eat, then I either try to find something more active to do with my mind or I try to think through the situation that is stressing me… in any case, I pray about it.

Another thing that I was trying to do, was to exercise. This is my down fall. See, I use to be extremely active growing up. I was in soccer, cheerleading, dance and beyond all of that, I still had more energy than I knew what to do with. I would run, do aerobics, etc. When my mom would say to me, “you should run around the house” because I had too much energy for her… I would!

I remember times when I would lay on my side on the floor and just run, which would make me go around in a circle on the carpet. Funny image, but true! LOL

WHERE IS THAT ENERGY NOW!!!???

I can’t seem to be consistent with exercising. I am an over achiever, so I tend to out do myself and then regret it the next day. I get excited to do it, when I watch shows like the Biggest Looser. The dedication amazes me to no end! Well… that is my weakness.

So, I have focused on cleaning our home. Trust me, that in itself is a workout! This gives me an immediate result that I can enjoy; plus, it gets me moving. I figure, its a beginning. Once I get it all down, then maybe I won’t dread working out on a regular basis and I won’t regret it later, when I do it.

There was this girl at my school. Her and I were pretty good friends… well, in gym class, they would have us run/walk around the gym for 20 minutes every day. Well, I would keep pace with her because she really pushed herself. I was able to do it because I would just focus on her and I wouldn’t think about the fact that I “had” to do it myself… I was just following the leader and pushing myself because I could. There was some sort of competition stance in me with that, but it was a good competition. She taught me how to pace myself with running in that gym. I guess that means that I should do well with exercise tapes or a trainer, LOL.

I think that exercise tapes are boring and trainers are too expensive, so what then? We have a gym in our subdivision but again… I push myself too hard or not hard enough and it seems to become a waste. Hopefully I will figure that part out, but for now… I will continue doing what I am and build up to the other.

If any of you have any suggestions, I am open to hearing about them. What has worked for you? What are your weaknesses that you struggle with? Have you overcome them?

I am looking forward to reading all that you have to say.

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