When You Feel Like Giving Up…

As some of you are aware… my family has been going through very deep and dark valleys lately as many others are. This time in our lives are a testament to God’s faithfulness, even when we feel as though He is nowhere to be seen or even felt at times. He is still there.

There are many times I have felt like giving up lately. Days and nights where all I can do is fall on the ground in a huddled curl, crying so hard that I can barely breath and all I can do is say “Help me God”.

When you have prayed all you can pray and you don’t even have the strength to pray anything other then “Help me” – He is there.

When your body shakes and rocks like a child, His arms are there to wrap you and give you a quiet strength in the midst of stillness that night brings. When you feel that you can no longer stand and a weight on you is so heavy that you think its going to crush you in to dust, He is there.

When you see no point and no light at the end of the tunnel, like there is a veil over your eyes and you can’t see past your immediate surrounding – He is there.

Even if the world comes crashing down to the point you honestly believe He has left you for dead, He is still there.

You may feel as though you have crossed the point of no escape, but He has made a way where there seems to be no way. He has directed your paths even before He created you. His plans will be fulfilled and no one can take you from Him.

Even if life brings us to our end in death, it is only a beginning with God. The fears and pains of this life, even now in the middle of what seems to be chaos and turmoil… there is a plan and it is for our good – even if we cannot see it or understand it in any way.

Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is past the dark door that is blocking our view…. but it is there.

Please watch and listen to these videos and have courage. He is coming soon and we all want to be with Him. Once it is over here, it will all be worth it… even if today is not that day, it is coming. Trust Him. Seek Him, even in the darkness – He is there.

All my love and prayers,
Alison

The only TRUE motivation

*****JESUS*****

Memorial Day Memories

This weekend is a holiday weekend to honor those who have fought for our freedom. My grandfather is one of those men. My grandfather’s name was Clarence Adam Cordell. He died on Jan. 4, 1964 at the age of 47, barely. (Dec. 10, 1917 – Jan. 4, 1964) S/SGT USAF

My grandfather was in the airforce and was stationed all over the world. He died in San Diego, California. He is laid to rest at the Fort Rosecrans National Cemetary in Plot: X 862, which overlooks the ocean. His plot is at the top of a hill near a cliff.

My husband and I lived in San Diego for about 2 1/2 years and it was then that I was able to go and see where my grandfather was buried. His grave site is in a great place with an absolutly beautiful view. I imagined what his funeral must have been like. My grandfather died way before I was born, so I never got to know him.

From the stories that I have heard, my grandfather was stationed at Roswell before the UFO “incident” and was relocated shortly before it happened. Oh, the stories I might have heard, had he stayed there. Hmmm…

Below are some pictures of the cemetery which can be found on Wikipedia.
 

 I wish I could include actual pictures of where he lies, but we moved before being able to go back to take pictures, so this is the best I can find. These pictures do not do it justice though.

I have another grandfather who served in the airforce as well, but I don’t have any information on him other than his name, Joseph Medina. I never knew him either because he died before I was born as well.

Sadly, I have heard that my grandpa Cordell may not have been a Christian, so I may never get to meet him… My other grandpa, grandpa Joe was a Christian, so I look forward to the day that I get to meet him.

Well, I wish that I had more to say about them, but I really don’t know very much. My grandpa Joe apparently had a building named after him at a Southern California college because he became a professor. Little tid-bits don’t exactly make a whole picture, just a puzzle.

 

 

Desiring An End From The Beginning

Ok, I am writing this very upset… Everyone knows how corrupt government can be and that people in government have a tendency to ‘personally’ attack others who are either more successful, more popular, etc. than they are. Not all, but it seems that most government officials practice corruption in some way or another. Well, I am experiencing some of that first hand. There is a lady who about 90% of the town doesn’t like because of her brassy personality and some shady-manipulative things that she has done to others, and she has decided to spread lies about me because I choose not to associate myself with her. She calls my house, comes to my home and text messages my husband on a regular basis multiple amounts each time. I do not talk about her in pubic… I try not to talk to her as well. It seems like I just can’t get her to leave me alone. I have politely told her that I am not interested in having a friendship, while staying cordial in public. However, she still will not leave either me or my husband alone.

Well, she called again today and this time my husband answered the phone. He tried to politely explain that we did not want to pursue a relationship with her and explained why (there are specific reasons to point out to her), so she proceeded to lie and accuse me of spreading rumors about her. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am very shy and do not really talk to people much, it is mostly my husband who is the talker and I add a word or two hear and there… My thing is mostly email. That is why I began a blog. Anyway, her accusations would not hold up with anyone who has ever met me and she knows this, so she was just saying it to get under our skin… well, it did.

When she continued repeatedly to say these things to Bradley about me I took the phone and asked her to stop calling us, stop coming by our home, stop text messaging us, etc. I told her that we did not want a relationship with her and that she was lying and needed to stop. She kept trying to interrupt me, but I thought I got my point across so I hung up. She called back immediately and left a message threatening me about rumors that I need to not say anything bad about her (probably because she is worried that someone might find out that we called her out of what all she has done). We don’t want to talk about her, see her, talk to her, etc. The bummer is though, she lives on our street. We purposely go the other way to come and go on our street just to avoid her. This is the time like I was talking about before, where I need to keep reminding myself of that verse: [Psalm 37:7] Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. For that matter, lets look at the entire book of chapter 37. I will separate the chapter in paragraphs to make it easier to read:

Psalm 37

A Psalm of David. Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in Him; and he shall bring it to pass. And He shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be. But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth. The Lord shall laugh at him: for He seeth that his day is coming. The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation. Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken. A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked. For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the Lord upholdeth the righteous.

The Lord knoweth the days of the upright: and their inheritance shall be for ever. They shall not be ashamed in the evil time: and in the days of famine they shall be satisfied. But the wicked shall perish, and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall consume; into smoke shall they consume away. The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth. For such as be blessed of Him shall inherit the earth; and they that be cursed of him shall be cut off.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with His hand. I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. He is ever merciful, and lendeth; and his seed is blessed. Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.

For the Lord loveth judgment, and forsaketh not His saints; they are perserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off. The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever. The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment. The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.

The wicked watcheth the righteous, and seeketh to slay him. The Lord will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged. Wait on the Lord, and keep His way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.

I have seen the wicked in great power, and spreading himself like a green bay tree. Yet he passed away, and, lo, he was not: yea, I sought him, but he could not be found. Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace. But the transgressors shall be destroyed together: the end of the wicked shall be cut off. Buth the salvationof the righteous is of the Lord: He is their strength in the time of trouble. And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: He shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in Him.

This chapter brings some comfort in the midst of the moment. Everyone has to go through stages of emotions when dealing with situations like this. Obviously, anger is the first emotion. Once that subsides, then possibly pity kicks in for the other person… at that point, you may be able to bring yourself to pray for them, with the help of God. Hopefully, at that point, you will be able to actively forgive them and move on… though most people like this tend to repeatedly cause the offense and you find yourself continually having to work through the same emotions on a regular basis… but as they say, what doesn’t kill you (hopefully) makes you stronger. I will not lash out, I will pray. I will not be consumed by this, I will be filled with the Word of God. I will not hold on to this, I will let it go to God. I can only pray for His help right now, but I know that He is faithful to follow-through where I am weak. His will be done.