Saying Good-bye is never easy
Posted by truthoughts on July 20, 2009
As I write this, my thoughts wonder to our beloved friend who we will greatly miss named Keani. Keani was our family kitty whom I have had for over 9 years. She passed away early on Sunday, July 5, 2009. She was gone before we woke. It has taken all this time for me to be in a place of peace to be able to write this.
Keani – Binky was born on March 21, 2000 to a kitty who couldn’t take care of her. She was taken in by Operation Kindness and cared for by a wonderful lady named Kit. Keani came into my life one day in October 2000 at the Petsmart store when she was just 7 months old. You see, I had another kitty friend named Cuddles who had passed away earlier that year on July 12th that looked just like her. They were both tortoise shell mainecoons. I had Cuddles for 18.5 years and life was not the same without a kitty.
As soon as I saw Keani, I was drawn to her instantly. I rushed right to her as she huddled into the corner of her cage from the nervousness of the public. You see, she has always been a bit shy. I spoke to Kit about her and Kit handed her to me. As soon as I wrapped her in my arms, she tucked her little kitten face into the crevasse of my arm to hid from those around. I could feel her body tremble and then turn to a purr when I pet her.
I knew I just had to have her in my life. So, I filled out all of the paperwork and went through the interview process… then home with me she came.
I remember it took about 2 weeks to get her to come out from under my bed. I would sit on top and wait. She would gradually peer out but if she saw anyone else, back under she would go. Eventually, I would find that she was a tagger. I would have to run and jump into bed so that she wouldn’t tag my ankle as I lifted my foot. She was a quick one!
Her favorite toys were straws and paper balls. She could have so much fun with those two things for hours. She also loved to hide my socks, lol. Eventually, I gave her some quilted type slippers that she loved to take around with her. She would carry them in her mouth as she walked through the house, crying as though the slipper was her baby. It was so sweet.
She just loved to nestle in the lining of the box springs under the bed. She would tear a small whole into it and climb up and sleep there for hours. She liked that it was like a hammock.
Keani also was like a momma kitty to our other kitties. She always watched at a distance when two kitties would be arguing. She would make sure that she knew who was at fault and then go give that one a piece of her mind which normally included a quick whipping to the forehead (but without her claws). It always happened so fast that the other one wouldn’t know what hit them until she was across the room. She kept the peace.
I always loved how when a storm was coming, her fur would get all frizzed up. She became a huge fluff-ball. It was adorable. Also, with her around… no insect, bird, etc. could make it past the entryway it came in from. She was quick!
I remember her blowing kisses from across the room and winking at me and Bradley when we would talk to her. When she was small, I use to tell her what a pretty girl she was and she would try to hide her face with her arm as though she got embarrassed.
Keani got very sick last September/October and we had to put her on a feeding tube. The doctors never did find out what was wrong with her. We fed her food, water, vitamins and minerals through her tube 2-3 times a day. While she was very weak, we would keep her in an enclosed playpen. Then she became strong enough to jump out. Eventually, thanks to God and Science Diet, she began to eat on her own. We were able to take her off the feeding tube and she gained most of her weight back. She was very active and social for months afterward.
The night before she passed, on the 4th of July, when we came home… there she was to greet us excitedly. She jumped up on the table and gave kisses. She seemed happy and healthy, so the next day when Bradley found her laying on the tile… he thought nothing of it. A couple hours later when he came downstairs again and she hadn’t moved… he went to check on her but she had already passed. She was laying in front of our fan, which was her favorite thing to do. She loved the fan.
We brushed her, took some last photos and wrapped her in a blanket inside a tub. I placed a teddy bear next to her and we sealed her up to be buried.
This all hit me very hard and I cried so much the first week that it made me sick. I have a good friend who lost her doggie not long ago and I sent her a poem I found online. Well, she sent it to me after loosing Keani and I would like to share it here.
I stood by your bed last night… I came to have a peep. I could see that
you’d been crying, And you found it hard to sleep
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, “It’s me. I haven’t
left you. I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”
I was close to you at breakfast… I watched you pour your tea. You were
thinking of the many times Your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at my grave today… You tend to it with such care. I want
to reassure you That I’m not lying there.
I walked you towards the house As you fumbled for the key. I gently put my
paw on you… I smiled and said, “its me.”
You looked so very tired As you sank into a chair. I tried so hard to let
you know That I was sitting there.
It’s wonderful for me to be So near you everyday, To say to you with
certainty, “I never went away.”
You sat there very quietly, Then smiled… I think you knew That in the
stillness of the evening I was very close to you.
And when the time is right for you To cross the brief divide, I’ll rush
across to meet you And we’ll stand there side by side.
I have so many things to show you! There’s so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out, Then come home to be with me.
It is hard to read this without crying. Anyway… I know in my heart that she is with Jesus and I will see her again someday. She knows that she was dearly loved.
Thank you for sharing in a small portion (9 yrs) of my life Keani. I miss you.