Man Eating Spider On The Run!

I write this in the midst of the passionate flurry of emotions from the events which unfolded just moments ago. My heart still races within my chest and my head is still high with adrenaline. I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business while trying to destress from the sibling rivalry between my cats earlier… when I happen to look up at the light colored wall before me, only to see – to my absolute horror, a huge wolf spider sprawled out in full fashion as if to taunt me the he indeed existed and was here to take over my domain.

With a screech I jumped up, out of my comfortable and once believing safe haven, to take a closer look. Frantically, I raced through many thoughts of action. First, I thought I could smash it with a fly swatter… that is until I got a good look at the fly swatter, only to eliminate it due to size combatibility, yes I meant “combat-ability”.

Next I thought of squashing it with a shoe… ah, yes – a shoe. So, I ran as fast as I could… making funny noises all the way so that my cats would follow in protection mode. Once I got to the shoes, I had to decide which shoe would work the best while protecting me at the same time from it running onto my hands and up my arms only to try and chew up my neck or face. (Yes, I know… a bit dramatic – but that is why you are still reading, lol)

So, sandals obviously will NOT work, and my shoes are too small for my state of mind. That only left my husband’s gigantic shoes (the’re huge compared to mine). I grabbed one of his tennis shoes and brought it to the scene, while examining its sole for comfort on the task ahead of me.

Once I got to the place of action, I realized that the enemy might be faster than me… Oh no! So, I ran to the kitchen to get the bug spray, panicking the entire time that the poison would hurt my cats. So, I tried my hardest to spray just the spider, as of course, it began to run toward me which made me scream even more.

My cats at this time were looking at me as though I had lost my mind. Ironically however, they didn’t even seem to notice the spider rushing closer to me. Once I had sprayed the spider adequately, and about a foot in every direction around it, I smashed it into bits with the shoe. Ah, relief!

Oh my, now I had to figure out how to clean up the poisonous spray, which was everywhere. I thought to myself, “I could use our Spotbot”. So, I ran and got the Spotbot but once I got back to the mess, I began to hear a sound that was not pleasant.

Apparently, in my frantic state, I had accidentally sprayed the extension cord which held cords to the television, cable box, VCR, DVD and stereo surround sound system. It was snap-crackle and popping, as well as making a sizzling sound. I tried to get to the plug in the wall, to unplug it, but there was a heavy corner table in the way. I didn’t want to touch the live wires, so I called my husband and he said he was on his way… he had left for the store earlier.

I ended up taking out a drawer to the corner table and reaching in to pull on another cord, which was wrapped around the one I wanted. This allowed me to reach the problem cord and yank it out from the wall. The sounds stopped.

Finally, my husband came home and helped me clean up the mess and dry out the cords. Boy, what a day. I haven’t even had my coffee to day. I think it’s time for a cat nap.