Finding Something In Nothing

Finding Something In Nothing

There are two days coming this weekend, which strike strong emotion in me because of what they represent. First is my 5-year wedding anniversary on Saturday. Yes, Bradley and I have been married for 5 years now… Some days seem like we have been together for ages past and others like we are just beginning. I suppose that is the way everyone feels at times. This is a happy occasion and I am very excited about how far we have come, however, a solemn one quickly follows this.

The second is mother’s day. For all of you who have read “About Me”, know that Bradley and I have lost 5 babies in the first 4 years of our marriage. The trauma that went along with those pregnancies and the losses that followed, leave scars rarely seen but forever deeply felt. During this holiday each year, numbness overcomes me so that the pain won’t over take me. There is no easy way around it… this weekend will be an emotional roller coaster.

So, we begin with attempting to celebrate our love and end with trying to ignore the struggles that strained us to the core. The loss of 5 babies has not been the only struggles that we have faced through the years; it’s just the only one that has a date of remembrance recognized by the world… not to mention the anniversaries of the losses and their proposed birthdays. On the good hand, our relationship has been strengthened and solidified though battered and bruised. I really do not know what I would do without Bradley, he is the love of my life, the best friend of my soul, the other half of my brain.

Bradley and I have spent almost every waking minute together since we were married and it never seems like enough. Some may look at it as a co-dependant relationship because they don’t understand it. Most people aren’t that close to their spouses, which is sad. It is more like at the beginning of a relationship, when you just can’t get enough of the other person… you want to be there to gaze at them and hear everything that they have to say. Our connection is so deep, that at times, we don’t even have to speak – we just know what the other is thinking/wanting/needing, etc. When you are truly with the person whom you are meant to be with, this is how it is.

I of course am not saying that we never disagree and spend any time apart, just very few times. We have learned how to communicate with each other in ways that it makes difficulties easier to work through – this has been a huge difference. When we do sometimes come to an impasse, we pray for the Lord to intervene… and He does. Normally when that happens, everything is cleared up within 10-30 minutes without hard feelings. So, in the nothingness that sadness brings, I will find the something, which is the strength of our relationship and the foundation that we have in our faith.

A Funny Family’s Day Out

The other day, me, my husband and my mom went over to my aunt’s house and had dinner. My great uncle was there, which I haven’t seen in about 10 years. He lives across the country, so I really only get to see him when he comes to town. There were many family members there for his visit.

At one point, I took notice because all of the women were outside with the kids and the men were inside – upstairs playing pool. I thought it was so funny cuz it reminded me of those movies. What really made me laugh was when my uncle came outside because my cousin called him when she saw him pass by the door to tell him to let her husband know that they had to leave soon to get the 18 month old baby to bed.

My uncle joked, as only a male could in that position and scurried up to give the message. A few minutes later… down he came letting us know that ‘the men’ had a message, though he wouldn’t share it… (there really was no message). He said that, really – he would be down and ready to go as soon as he finished his game. So, naturally, my cousin replied with, does that mean the game he is playing or the one he is about to play? She wanted specifics because as women know… with men, we have to get specific. So, my uncle clarified that it would be the game that was already being played.

While we waited, the kids played in the sandbox and the adults talked. Once it had gotten dark, we rounded up the kids and went inside to round up the men. Well, my cousin and her family left without a hitch… mine however, well, lets just say that my husband has a tendency to enjoy playing with the kids and getting them all riled up. My aunt threatened that next time she would have to get out the belt for him. It seemed that everytime we thought we were ready to go… a train of kids would round the corner, running full spead to try and get past my husband, who was ready to tag them as they passed. He is just a big kid himself.

Well, once we left (we had driven my mom and my niece and nephew) the kids fell asleep. Peace! We had a great time and we hope to see them all again soon.

The Legendary Sandra Dee

My fascination with the legendary actress, Sandra Dee began when I was very young. I first saw her in a movie called, “If A Man Answers” where she co-stared with her then husband, icon, Bobby Darin. Later, I saw more of her movies…

Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin met on the set of the movie, “Come September”, which was filmed in Italy. They were married right away and had a son named, Dodd Darin. Their marriage only lasted 7 years, but it was a match for an ideal image but rocky in reality.

I of course, was not aware of the rocky road they both traveled through their lives… I was just overwhelmingly captivated by her beauty and innocent image. She was what I wanted to be. I have added a page above, dedicated to her, with pictures and video clips.

I am saddened that many today are unaware of her, other than the tainted-fun-poking made at her by the famous movie, “Grease”. Most people are not aware that Sandra Dee is a real person who was the ideal of the teenage population in the 1950’s and 1960’s.

Sadly, Sandra Dee died on Feb. 20, 2005 from kidney failure. Most people don’t know this, but the morning that she passed away… I had a dream that she had died. It was so real. I spoke with her on the phone and then saw news reports of her passing (in my dream). As soon as I awoke, I told my husband. It was so real that he started looking on-line and on television to see if it had really happened. There was absolutely no news about it until later that night. Once we heard that it had actually happened, we just looked at each other in amazement. Weird, I know… but it happened.

I hope you will take a look at my Sandra Dee page and learn a little more about her. I am going to add a lot more information about her soon.